It was busy trying to see rather than to think. The energy required to focus and refocus my eyes was causing my brain to freeze. Though I wasn’t off by much, I wasn’t seeing with 20/20 vision. I had no idea how distorted they were until I saw them clearly with my reading glasses.
I had not been seeing my own notes clearly. Eureka! I realized that my problem was simple. After reading the selection, I unconsciously glanced down at my notes. I took my reading glasses to the pulpit with me so I could read from the old book. Months later, while preaching on a very technical passage, I was quoting a very old commentary that was written with very small print. Had I lost my gift? Was there some sin in my life? Was I in the first stages of some debilitating mental disease? I secretly pondered these and even less logical possibilities.
That may not seem like a big deal to many people, but for those who preach, this was like flying an airplane without instruments. My “pregnant pauses” weren’t meant so much to give my listeners time to think and reflect on what I had just said they were to give me time to look at my notes and make my next point. I often had to stop and reread my notes silently to get back into the flow of the message. I could connect the truth of God’s Word with the audience to whom I was speaking. In the past, my thoughts flowed effortlessly. I had taught God’s Word for over twenty years on college campuses, at schools, and in local churches, and I had never had this problem before. I was frustrated, but I wasn’t quite sure why.
0 kommentar(er)
